My journey as a MOTHER

Well, I am the youngest children among two elder sisters and a brother of my mother but I got married when I was just 18. After couples of years I moved to Kathmandu with my dear husband for the better future for my child as I was pregnant. After couples of months in Kathmandu thing change in the direction that I have never expected and make my husband sick…badly. He was a good man, a man with a word, simple but very helpful one. Such man should live hundreds of years but unfortunately passed away after two months when my son born. I am not going to say my son is unlucky but is indeed lucky to have such a brilliant father. Such father couldn't be found so easily in this 21^st century.

My son

Although I am part of their family but they never treat me like one, as for the past two years, I work as a maid and they treat me as if I were their charwomen. I think of escaping couples of time but I fear that I might be the topic to blame back to village. My fear was my weakness that why I suffer like hell in the city called joy…KATHMANDU. For the past two years, I live under the darkness of brutal, harsh and cruel as if I was their slave even thou I possess no master.

I didn't get the courage to flee until one of my people encourages me to do, they gave me expense and instruct me to catch the early bus. That’s how I reached back to village but thing were not the way it has to be. When I enter the room, the smile has faded away as well as the happiness it hold, became a place to shed tears of sadness and become doom as my mother was about to take her final breath. Before she took, she share the property equally among us and farewell us the very week.

As I said earlier, I was the youngest among the children as well as the foolish, that why I was left with nothing but extra burden to carry…my son. My own family betrayed me with the land I possess as well as robbed the precious stone mother gave me. I was left with nothing, no house to live, no land to cultivate and no money to open a business but extra to feed.

I work daily as a labor in other’s farms, each morning I put my baby into the bamboo basket and let him sleep whole day by the field while I work tirelessly for living. I never have weakened even if I take; I had to figure out the food. I work each day for living…my life was nothing better than the slaves except I was no one’s property as slaves possess a master.

While season off at village, I walk 1000 miles to the next village for job and spend a month and return back with sack full of wheat or other eatable thing. There was no system of paying money as salary at the time. Most of the time, I dragged my son but he was rude to walk and every time I have to buy him candy to make him walk. It was the most difficult phase of my life as sometime I used to think why such unfortunate things happen at this moment. Why?

My life was misery, every day I die. Every day I struggle for bread for my son. For me, there was not even a single day to spend happily like other does. Wearing nice clothes and eating good food was beyond my reach. The worst thing was my so called relatives never come for aid not even to console my sorrow, they just let me die. That’s how I lost my faith and trust.

The word cannot express the feeling I felt for my child. My child was everything for me, my god, my heart, my blood and I struggle everyday for him…for the better future. I only wish him having a good life ahead; I desire nothing more in return. It’s my responsible, my pride to give him good clothes to wear and good food to eat and to make him perfect (educated him).

Every day I survive with pain, whether it is physically or psychologically….it ache my heart, not a day but every day. Every day I worry whether he is happy or not, about his health, is he doing right? I smile, laugh with other but it’s just an appearance, deep inside I am dying and no place for such enjoyment. It was just a mask, pretending to be real.

My happiness and smile depend on my child, the way he acts, the way he behaves, the way he thinks. Till from baby to 15 was the most difficult phase of my life. As he couldn't solve the puzzle so called sorrow I hold. Slowly my life turns better as he understand me and our situation. Some time I wonder how hard for those mother, whose child didn't understand them and had a wild and out of society behavior.

I am happy not because I have good house to sleep and best clothes to wear, these are secondary cause. I am happy because my son is doing great in his study and help me the best he could do, even thou he is just a student right now. Like me every mother desire nothing more than happiness of their children, we shed tear hearing something bad about our child. Every morning I beg god for his protection, his success and so on positive.

I am telling you so, that you might change your perspective toward your dear mother….As I mention earlier your action, behavior are the reason of her happiness. Although every son or daughter wish happiness to their MOTHER and wish to do something but mostly end up with nothing. You don’t have to give big amount or the best clothes, house, food….these are just secondary cause of her happiness. Act and behave well and obey your mother and most importantly love and care her.

On the behalf of the entire mother, I wish you successful and good life ahead. Have a good day ahead and GOD BLESS YOU.