Life is
mysterious and nobody knows exactly what it could be after couples of year… but
we can predict our future by present. Right now what we do is matter for
tomorrow but nobody can say exactly. It’s just fucking prediction.
Nobody give
a shit what their life might be. All the youth keep partying all night and all
day as there is no more tomorrow. Sometime when I see such youth I feel overwhelm.
Feel like I am heading toward wrong direction. Why the hell do I need to worry
about my unknown future and why should I keep distraction with such ideology
about future.
Nobody
knows how long we could survive in this messy world. If we are lucky enough
then might be sixty or seventy years if not then will be expiring tomorrow. One
of my friend told me “life is like ice-cream, keep enjoy until or unless it
melt away.” At the moment I don’t understand what exactly he means. “What the
hell he is talking about? Does he really wanna suffer after couples of year
enjoyment?” such psyche emerges at the moment. Because I was graduate from high
school and looking for college and my brain was covered with mama ideology.
While in
college I saw lots of youth who don’t care about their future. They attend
class but they don’t give a shit. Whenever I see such it makes me more and more
curious about their ideology and what are up to. So finally I decided to be
friends with them and tell them nothing is so impossible in this world. There
are so many good things to be done left.
With each
day I spend more time with these crazy friends instead of showing them good way
I was trap like mouse by its cheese. I started smoking, drinking, and partying
all night with lots of stranger. The strange thing is that since I start
smoking and drinking I am getting more and more friends and I started spending
whole days with bunch of asshole with smoke and royal stag or beer. I started
quitting class even if I attend I slept at last bench or teasing hot chicks.
When I was
out of money I lie my parents, relative and friends with time they started
giving me so many excuse. And my friends start ignoring me because I was out of
source. I keep getting warning from principal about the fee as well as from my
owner. Even if I tell the truth neither my parents nor my relative believe me.
There was nothing left in my apartment coz I already sold out everything from
iphone to my laptop except my R15. I have no option then selling my R15 to
cover up my college and apartment fee. So I did it.
I regret
what I did for my family, relative and good friends. I keep crying like a baby
but it helped me nothing. So, I decided to do something which will give me my
past life. Since then I started doing part time job as a reception in a hotel,
casher in restaurant and so on. Right after college I started taking tuition
from friends and gradually I quit smoking as well.
Nothing is impossible in this world unless you
have heart for something. I was neither topper in college nor a loser; I did
what I could after such circumstance. I finished my college life with so many
up and down. I challenge my life and what about you? And one more thing; never
ever think as I thought once. Your real friends are those one who will support
or help you when you really need them. Better to be mama boy and having mama
ideology….
(I wanna
thank my friend for this story…and thank you for your time.)
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| "As i grow older, much older, I will experience many things, and I will hit rock bottom again and again. Again and again I will suffer, again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won't let my spirit be destroyed." ―Banana Yoshimoto |
