In next life, she will be mine...

I remember clearly, it was sunny day in 2001; the leaves were dancing with the rhythm of lake cool breeze and the melodies of birds modulation chirping. The view of Machhapuchhre and other mountains reflect clearly in the lake as there were very few boats at the time. I was happily reading a novel as there was no customers in the café even brother and mom were absenet as they went to market to fetch something. “Can I have a coffee please?” a voice disturbs me, when I held my head unwillingly. I was fascinated and couldn’t stop staring. I didn’t believe what I was seeing right at that time. “Wow!!! You look beautiful” I said myself while staring to her. “Can I have a coffee please?” she said again.

“Well, can you make it yourself as no one is inside beside I don’t know who to make it perfectly?”I tease her. She didn’t responded but keep smiling shyly and I broke the silence “Don’t worry I was just kidding”. This is how I met her. I don’t remember how our relation blossom but I do remember those beautiful moments; we cuddled each other with so much love and care. As each single dropped of water filled the container just like that with each meeting, we become one soul dwelling in two different bodies. The more I spend time with her the more I want her and I keep falling in love with her extraordinary personality and beauty. Truly I had even thought about my future being with her, having a house and cute children.

After graduation from college, I settled down with my family and I feel great to have a most charming girl as my girlfriend. But unfortunately thing were not the way it was and were. Deep inside she was carrying a huge bundle and she was not willing to share with me. Our relation becomes complicated with each passing day. I don’t understand what the reason behind all this dust. As the same pole of magnet repel how hard you tried to stick it back, our relation was in such condition. She never picked even a single word from me.

 “What the fuck? Don’t be stubborn?” I argue with her for the fast time in these three years of relation. “I am getting married by following year” she said quietly while tears dropping continuously. I don’t believed what I just heard and couldn’t imagine she is being marry to someone else. My heart shatters into pieces, I am alive but I am dying inside with each passing day. I don’t know what to do and where to go; mostly I stay quietly alone by the lake puffing cigarette. She never takes seriously with our relation, for these past three years; she was just pretending to be my girlfriend? Oh shit!!! Why this is happening to me. Why me? If you the god is there and listening to my pray let me show some path or lead me from this darkness.

She was from Mustang and their traditional too is complicated as well as bizarre. To get married one has to be from same village if not then has to be same cast. In any case, if two lover run off from village then it will be upside down for them, if they return back to village again. Beside they have their own meaning for Tibetan as our fathers has played villain role in 1960’s in Mustang when they flee from Tibet. They brutalize the people by robbing their belonging, rapping the women remorselessly as they were bestial. The insanity which was done earlier had its impact on the later generation as a result; the new generation had a naïve approach towards those barbarians (Tibetan). Beside they think Tibetan youth as lack of responsibility and so forth.

One of her friend told me this mysterious story (what our father did) and their complicated traditional. Her family scolded her badly being in relation with me that why she ends up with me. Shall I accuse my father (as he flees from Mustang) or her fake love? No matter whatever but I still remember those beautiful moments that I spend with her. Let say the most amazing moments of my life.

i click it from his photo...the girl he love....

Now I am running 41 and I have two sons (5 and 10) and a beautiful daughter (15) but I still have her picture in my wallet. Neither have I showed it to my children nor to my own wife. She is in my heart, in this life she can’t be mine but we will reunite in next life. Ha ha ha ha….